Point of View

Deep POV Tips for Action Scenes

In one of the novels I’m working on, the protagonist and his buddies get into a vicious fight with the bad guy. The fight reveals some important plot points, so I don’t want to gloss over it with a few well-placed “pows” and “whams” and then move on to other things. I want to sink the reader into the pain, power and gore and get their heart beating faster.

The first time I wrote the scene, I screwed up my close 3rd POV and went almost cinematic. In the midst of all the action of the fight, I focused on ONLY the action of the fight, and not what was really important. Let me give you a quick example of what I mean:

Matt pulled his fist back, grabbing at the collar of the man who stood leering in front of him. He swung and connected, feeling his knuckles mash open the man’s lips and crunch against his teeth. The man would have staggered if Matt had not been holding on to him, but instead Matt pulled him back for another sharp blow to the jaw.

This paragraph shows what is happening in the action scene. Any reader can get an image in their mind of what is going on. It’s a scene you’ve seen in action movies a hundred times before. But books aren’t action movies. The reader can’t see what you don’t describe.

Fight scenes, or any action scenes, are not really about what is going on, anyway. They are about what the characters think and feel about what is going on, how they react and what changes them when the action occurs. Action scenes should be told in deep POV for maximum effect. Instead of pointing out every single punch, kick and hair-pull, narrow down the view to a few key things.

Have you ever been in a fight, car accident or other high-action event? Do you see the guy pulling back his fist then hammering it into your jaw? Or do you just feel the flash of pain and anger as the guy lands a punch? Do you see the shred of tires on the pavement and feel the tip and roll of the car, which makes your groceries in the back spill out and smash open? Or do you register the impact and then the sickening fear that you might actually die at any second?

Can You See My Point of View?

Losing the point of view in a novel or short story is very similar to real life. You have to have empathy with your characters if you want them to act like real people. If you want them to be real players in their own story, they have to have an individual and realistic point of view.

I write predominantly in 3rd person limited (also called ‘close’). If you want a visual, think of it as the character walking around with a video camera on his or her forehead. Everything in the story comes from his or her point of view. I think 3rd person limited gets the reader more interested in your character. After all, the reader knows the character better that way.

Choosing the right point of view is vital, and it can totally change the story that is being told. Take a look at these two examples. Same story, different POV (point of view) character.

—–

The nerve of him. Expecting her to refill his coffee cup every time he took a sip was one thing, but sewing on his buttons in her own time was something else. Sue bit her lip to keep from screaming. She needed this job. Oh lordy, how she needed this job. She fixed the image of her son’s holey sneakers in her mind and plastered a smile on her face. “Yes, Mr. Jordan. I’ll get that done for you this evening.”

—–

He gave her the report as slowly as he could. He explained everything he wanted her to do in minute detail. Well, not everything I want her to do. Come out to dinner with me. Smile just once for me – a real smile. His mind went one step further and he quashed the thought with a scowl. That kind of thing got you in trouble these days – sexual harassment – when all he wanted to do was stay in her presence a little bit longer.

His jacket! He whipped his jacket off the back of the chair. “My button,” he said. “It came off in the taxi this morning. Could you fix it?” He held it out to her and she bit her lip. God, she was cute when she did that!

“Yes, Mr. Jordan. I’ll get it done this evening.”

He watched her walk out and sighed. If he couldn’t get up the guts to ask her out himself, at least his jacket could spend the night in her presence.

—–

Same story. Different point of view.

Play with it. Try out different ones. And then choose the best for your finished story.

Point of View

Point of view as used in fiction writing is often explained as simply the choice of pronouns you use. “I” is first person point of view, “You” is second person point of view, and “he/she/it” is third person. There are other delineations as well, but those are the basics.

WHO (which character) is actually telling the story is often included in point of view, but that is more of a non-literary definition.

Who cares?

If you are writing something, someone need to tell the story. Even an omniscient narrator has a personality.

My favorite POV is 3rd person limited with one (or more than one!) of the main characters telling the tale. I’m actually revising my formerly 1st person NaNoWriMo novel to be 3rd person limited with three viewpoints right now.

Tricky though, because the 3 viewpoints are from seperate entities all residing in the same body.

First Person vs. Third Person

I simply can NOT figure out whether I want to write my current story in FIRST person or in THIRD! I don’t like first person. I don’t write ‘deep’ enough for first person.

But the guy has two voices in his head besides his own… so third is almost impossible if I want it to make any sense! It’s tricky enough to begin with.

Right now I have the main MC telling his story in first person. I also have 2 other POV characters who get the 3rd person treatment – it works better for them. Since the idea is basically that the main MC (yes, I know that is redundant!) is telling the story from his death-bed, so to speak, it makes sense.

But it is still annoying!

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